How Friction During Offsites Is a Good Thing

[00:00:00]  Dan Berger: Welcome to the Assemble podcast. I’m Don Berger, founder of Assemble Hospitality Group. We build purpose design spaces for small team offsites and retreats because the biggest things happen in the smallest rooms. This show is about retreats in all forms, corporate lifestyle, wellness, and even family reunions, and the culture shifts that happen when people step away from the everyday.

[00:00:24] You’ll hear lessons from operators, facilitators, and leaders who know how to design experiences that move the needle. My goal give you the playbook for building clarity, trust, and belonging on your team or in your community.

[00:00:40] Adam, welcome to the pod.

[00:00:41] Adam Silberstein: Thank you.

[00:00:42]  Dan Berger: So before we get started, let me read your bio. Adam Silberstein is a YPO certified Forum facilitator and executive coach who discovered the power of form at 19 and was mentored into the discipline by one of Y P’s most respected facilitators, Jim Warner. After building financial freedom in real estate and finance, he followed a clear calling into YPO and EO forum facilitation and CEO coaching, becoming one of the youngest facilitators in the ecosystem, and a trusted advisor to thousands of executives, teams and families.

[00:01:12] Today his work centers on one-on-one coaching form retreats, leadership offsites and custom experiences grounded in a deep belief that pure wisdom and shared reflection are powerful advantage for high performers. Adam, welcome once again.

[00:01:27] Adam Silberstein: Thank you.

[00:01:28]  Dan Berger: So you don’t look as young as your bio says. How long have you been doing this?

[00:01:32] Adam Silberstein: Well, I started at 26. I think the bio was more about, at the time was one of the youngest people doing it. But yeah, now there’s plenty of gray hair in the beard. I’m 42 now.

[00:01:41]  Dan Berger: So that means you’ve been doing it for almost 20 years.

[00:01:45] Adam Silberstein: Yeah.

[00:01:46]  Dan Berger: So from the age of 19, when you first experienced form till now, what are some of the ways you’ve, you think you’ve improved as a facilitator?

[00:01:55] Adam Silberstein: Wow. Well, I think, you know, you hit the 10,000 hours thing, right? So I know I have a sense of confidence that I can step in just about any room, deal with any. Whether it is level of ego or dysfunction or objectives that a group has, whether it’s within a family, whether it’s in a forum, whether it’s a leadership team, if it’s in a, depending on the different culture, right?

[00:02:18] So working with people in Bible Belt South, from Northern California to New York, it’s having the confidence to be able to step in a room and create the value that the group most wants. And so. I think there’s a lot of things that go into that. Happy to unpack on that, but I think ultimately, I remember 26, 27, just so much time spent preparing and you know, the amount of emails and the amount of feedback that I produced and hours that I spent on it, knowing nobody’s really spending time on, on reading or going through that.

[00:02:48] And so now feeling like I, I can provide even more value, really just stepping into the room and, and knowing how. To guide a group. And I think that happened yesterday. A colleague of mine was in a session and you know, he was like, you can just tell the 10,000 hour mark. You knew exactly what needed to happen.

[00:03:05] You kind of walked in there like, Hey, what should we do? Kind of thing. And produced immense value. So I think that’s one of the biggest things, is just feeling a level of mastery in the art of facilitation.

[00:03:16]  Dan Berger: So when you say you discover the value, how do you go about. Finding the value of the group needs.

[00:03:23] Is that in pre-work, is that also in room? Tell us a little more about that.

[00:03:28] Adam Silberstein: It depends on the group, right? So we’re talking about YPO forum, you know, I think most facilitators have that process of let, we have initial call with, you know, whoever the biggest stakeholders are. Let’s say like the moderator, open-ended questionnaires, kind of understanding the different dynamics of what’s going on in each person’s life.

[00:03:46] And then also taking the temperature of the health of the, of the forum. You know, I think like within YPO, even though there’s a ton of uniqueness and a diversity perspective, I think we all can understand, we see the same like 10 to 12 issues. So typically there’s no new issues. And I have a playbook on how to surface work through create value with each of those, let’s call typical issues.

[00:04:10] Right? And I think the other thing is to remember. So, you know, whether working as a coach, whether I’m working as a facilitator, when I’m working with leadership team, the important thing is to remember like, what is my role, right? Am I stepping in as a consultant? Am I stepping as a facilitator or coach?

[00:04:26] Right? I believe that all leaders part of leadership development. Part of learning how to be a, you know, 10 outta 10 forum member is embracing facilitation skills and coaching skills. So one of the things that I’m lucky is about is that the people who are in these sessions are trying to learn more and more about what I do, right?

[00:04:46] So ultimately. I get to step in as a facilitator, I don’t need to know all of the answers. My job is just to facilitate surface align, and that means I don’t need to be an expert in the actual topic or the themes. You know, a lot of times the companies that I’m working with, I may not even fully understand what they do, right, but still can provide them value.

[00:05:07] So I think it’s really owning my space, understanding that my job is to facilitate, not necessarily consult at times hope that answered the the question.

[00:05:17]  Dan Berger: Certainly did. You mentioned some of the issues, the 10 to 12 issues that are usually happening within a room, uh, forum or mostly forum. So let’s start with that.

[00:05:27] What are some of those issues that most often come up

[00:05:30] Adam Silberstein: from Forum Health? I mean, misalignment. Are we getting the value, you know, from forum, it’s like there’s no continuity and accountability, so it feels like we come in there and it’s like, Hey moderator, what are we doing today? Right. Yeah. So really how do we set up a forum for the year and making sure they feel like a sense of value.

[00:05:46] There’s an operational level to the forum, right? Are we prioritizing? Are we getting things done? Are we holding each other accountable? Are we challenging one another? And look at end of the year and say, okay, well we’ve made some progress. You can tell the forum’s created some value. So I think that’s from the forum health side.

[00:06:00] Of course you have like dominating members and ego and things like that, you know, that are kind of the typical things. You know, there’s just a lot of conflict resolution there, but I think ultimately it’s not about conflict resolution, it’s about seeing all friction as opportunities to lead to creativity.

[00:06:15] Right? And so my job as a facilitator, frankly, is to take all friction, which is just energy, and how do we transmute that into creative energy, right? My biggest concern is whether it’s groups or leadership teams, is when there’s no friction. That means there’s probably artificial harmony. And so part of my job is to create a safe space surface where we need to have some productive storming and norming and then really tap into creativity.

[00:06:40] And I find that it’s vital in forums. And if we do that, then the form can, if we teach them that process, that tool, that machine of being able to do that, they can get through anything. You also have the other themes, I think, like what’s next, right? So in YPO, obviously you have a high level of achievement.

[00:06:57] I’ve achieved certain things. What’s next for me? How do I still create meaning? You know, there’s the whole, how do you empower and raise kids in an affluent world? There’s dealing with aging parents, there’s relationship dynamics. So you know, those same, I don’t know. And those are five right there that we probably hear just about on, on every retreat.

[00:07:16]  Dan Berger: Sure. And you mentioned that this is a calling for you. You’re obviously in a different position, having been in a different industry and having some. Some freedom. As you mentioned in your biography, when did you really realize it was a calling? Was it between the age of 19 and 26 when you were first exposed to form, or was it afterwards and what exactly called you to it?

[00:07:41] Adam Silberstein: So, you know, it was interesting. I remember the moment I was on a retreat with Jim Warner. This is the second retreat I’ve ever been on with him. The first one was 19, the second one, it must have been 25, something like that. And he was launching us into my second forum, so it was a different forum. His son, Paul Warner, wanted to bring together another group of people, and I decided to join.

[00:08:02] It was at Loveland, Colorado. And I remember had all of these deals and aspiration and, and ideas of how I wanted to do this in my life and that in my life. And Jim really just challenged me, you know, and, and it sounds like, you know, I get it. Anything worth doing is worth overdoing. And I was like, I’m very much an overdue at that point.

[00:08:18] And he really challenged me. What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? And at some point it kind of hit me. I was like, I actually wanna do exactly what you do. And he goes, great. Tell me more about that. I’m like, well, I, I really see the flexibility. I see how doing this work and putting yourself out there keeps you accountable to doing your own work, right?

[00:08:35] So I think I believe in self integrity. I never put myself in an ivory tower. One of the things I love about the calling is I get paid to put myself in a position with people. I consider mentors. They’re paying me to provide value to them. So I’m sitting there effectively getting paid for learning a ton and creating a lot of value at the same time.

[00:08:55] So to me, I feel like most of the time I feel in pinch me type dynamics, like, wow, my office is, I just got a call from, Hey, can you join me to lead a facilities retreat on Tortola? Love these guys. Of course, I’d fly down for, you know, a day or two and help them, and they treat me great. They love the value that I provide.

[00:09:14] I learn a ton from them. And so my office gets to be these incredible places with incredible people. And to me there’s a lot of energy there. In addition to that. I think at 25, 26 when I felt a little bit jaded from finance, real estate, wasn’t loving the family office I was working with, and I felt like really there was a little bit of a spiritual awakening that was happening at 25, 26.

[00:09:39] I never really thought about before I went to Israel, I had, you know, a mentor of mine who’s still a close spiritual teacher who you spoke with recently. I met him and he awakened some spiritual energy in me and I started thinking about. What is my calling and how do I want to give back and how can I impact the world?

[00:09:57] And when I knew this world existed, I thought, wow, if I can be a facilitator, a force for good amongst people who have large influence, then there’s a big ripple effect there, right? There’s leverage there. So that also, you know, gave me a lot of energy. And as I look back and seeing all of the value that I know I’ve been able to create and the ripple effect from it feels very meaningful to me.

[00:10:21]  Dan Berger: You mentioned you have a playbook. I’m curious to hear a little more about that. What are some of the unique things that Adam brings to form in terms of tools?

[00:10:29] Adam Silberstein: So what I’m finding lately that I think there’s two things that, this is simple. It’s not rocket science, but I think there’s two things that I find myself saying over and over to forums and maybe the value that they’re looking for.

[00:10:42] I have found in the last six to eight years with the growth from YPO, just maybe the attention span of. Of the way the world is. I think there’s been a lot of, let’s call ’em like misfires or failure to launch forums. So there’s a lot of forums out there that have been struggling over the last three, four years, call ’em COVID forums, and so I may have a bit of a playbook on what I think is a best practice to launch.

[00:11:06] Happy to get into that, but. You know, I think one of the key things of that is we all know like we should get each other. We get to know each other’s personal history. We should get to know what’s going on in each other’s lives. We should probably get to know each other’s businesses. But one of the things that I feel are noticed or observed that forum and does not do a great job of onboarding is where’s this person going?

[00:11:26] What’s their vision? What are their values? How do they wanna be held accountable to their principles? And I find it almost impossible. To be a functional forum if we don’t know how, whatever presentation or whatever it is you’re working on leads to your overall vision or goal. Right? And I find people ask forums, ask me all the time, or people in organizations ask me, how do you challenge people without insulting them?

[00:11:48] Ultimately, it’s in the context of their own desires and their own vision and their own principles. So, hey Don, you said you want X. How does this get you closer to that? Right? And so just onboarding that vision principle that I find works really well and definitely I think should be a part of the onboarding process.

[00:12:05] I think EO does a great job of this where they say, meeting one should be personal history, meaning two should be business and right. So having the discipline, just like in an organization. To not just jump right into it, to have a specific onboarding strategy, and then by meeting 4 0 5 where we’re where we need to be, we can launch from there.

[00:12:22] I think it’s sad that so many people are three years into their form experience and still trying to figure out all the rave.

[00:12:29]  Dan Berger: A quick pause to thank our sponsor, facilitator directory.com. Facilitator directory.com is the number one resource for finding a facilitator. Whether you’re looking for someone to lead your executive offsite, facilitate a forum or guide a wellness retreat, facilitator directory.com is the place to find top rated

[00:12:45] Adam Silberstein: facilitators, guides, and team coaches.

[00:12:48] And now back to the show.

[00:12:51]  Dan Berger: I really wanna double click on the tools you use. Can you mention a framework or two that you use that you think is unique to you, and what are the details of one of your tools?

[00:13:01] Adam Silberstein: Yeah, so I think as part of that, YPO is full of operators. I find Forum has very little operational leverage.

[00:13:10] Let’s call it a velocity, right? Like I said, show up. Hey moderator, what do you have for us today? Right? That is most of the energy, just most people are glad that they showed up on time, right? And so a lot of people out there familiar with EOS, entrepreneurs Operating System. I love these different operating systems.

[00:13:28] Don’t care which one, blue Growth, EOS. Scaling up, whatever. Right. I think they’re great and it just creates, teaches some sort of discipline and operational dynamics and I, I think there needs to be something like that in forum. And so I kind of joke around that there’s an FOS

[00:13:44]  Dan Berger: right?

[00:13:45] Adam Silberstein: And so what if, and what’s cool about onboarding this is that we can create real experiential, open, transparent experiences developing this.

[00:13:54] And I believe just like a strategic planning event with your team. A retreat should be about setting up the year so we can have a great, open, honest, transparent year on your form retreat, setting you up for the year. But then the meetings I hope, should have a little bit of execution energy. Almost like in EOS, you have weekly meetings inform, you have monthly meetings, and my hope is that those monthly meetings are creating some group accountability to your top priorities and to your principles.

[00:14:20] So very simply stated, at every retreat I have everybody come away with their two growth areas for the year. And I update people’s update forms and say, what if one of the questions on the update form says, you know, reflecting on your top two priorities, how have you made progress in the last 30 days?

[00:14:35] Very simple, not rocket science, right? But it keeps you accountable, what you said, your top two areas of growth, not your top two priorities, your top two areas of growth for the year. Number two, it I believe shifting things into a principle based thinking versus just either goal oriented or right wrong thinking.

[00:14:52] So to unpack that a bit. Typically when forums go into presentations, I think the YPO mindset, the the operator, the executive mindset is let’s find the right answer, right? And we’re a good, valuable group if we give this person the right answer. Now, I think we’re all understanding that there’s a wisdom in knowing there is no right answer.

[00:15:12] And our job as a forum, as an executive team is to find the answer that most upholds either our values, our principles, our goals, et cetera, right? And so. Ultimately, I believe forums should be integrating each other’s guiding principles in presentations and so on. Retreats, big fan of surfacing people’s guiding principles.

[00:15:33] And these aren’t just like integrity, honesty. These are ones that if you look at, you’re like, you know, I hope people say this about me at my funeral. Right? So ultimately, what if that second question, first question is. What are your top two areas of growth and how have you made progress in the last 30 days?

[00:15:49] Right? The second question is reflecting on the guiding principles that we created at the retreat. Which have you been neglecting in the last 30 days and which have you been upholding Well, right. Ultimately, at the end of the year, the reason why I call this an operating system is that we can look, Hey, there’s eight people in the group.

[00:16:05] There are 16 growth areas. Yes or no? Did we check them off, right? Yes or no? Do we feel more in integrity with our principles now than we did a year ago? Ultimately, if the answer is yes to that and the group says, wow, like we made a lot of progress here, then it feels like there’s some operational leverage or velocity in the group.

[00:16:22] And then we feel really good about that. And I’m getting a lot of groups saying, Hey, can we just reset for the next year? Right. And so there’s again, bringing that concept, very simple concept of like EOS, bringing it to forum, but while still maintaining the holistic nature, psychological safety of the forum.

[00:16:38]  Dan Berger: Um, I completely agree with you that, uh, forum lacks accountability, so I’m glad you’re focused on that. How does the one-on-one coaching inform your facilitation, assuming that, whether it’s a client that first hires you for one-on-one and then brings you facilitation, or whether it’s just, you know, one-on-one clients?

[00:16:56] Adam Silberstein: Yeah, so it’s interesting because everything I just said I can do on a one-on-one basis, right? Mm-hmm. So the way that I find your top two growth areas as a coach, I probably should onboard that pretty early on the way that I do. Like taking stock of what’s going on in people’s lives, understanding their personal history, surfacing their guiding principles, all of that are part of my onboarding, uh, part of my onboarding process for coaching.

[00:17:23] Right. And so basically, I think I’ve married the two of them where it just becomes group coaching on the retreat.

[00:17:31]  Dan Berger: Yeah,

[00:17:31] Adam Silberstein: and what I, what happens a lot times people call me after and say, Hey, I wanna do one-on-one work. Great. You’ve already checked off the first couple of boxes because retreat with like a into coaching now.

[00:17:43] I think I told you this before. Typically clients come in for from one-on-one in like three different areas. One, there’s something really wrong. I call it the building is on fire. We need to run in, we need to help them, right? There’s something big going on and just need somebody to support them, listen to them, be sounding, board, navigating a difficult dynamic, whether it’s company going over under a divorce, you’re partnered with your wife and you’re going through a divorce and trying to run the company, right?

[00:18:09] So there’s all kinds of stuff that’s like, wow, I need help right now. There’s the WellCare, which is, Hey, everything’s great. I need a coach to come in and help me, challenge me and push, and I call that a WellCare relationship. And then there’s transitions. I get a lot of, uh, clients who are transitioning from one professional CEO job to another or maybe transitioning out of their hard charging CEO life, if you will.

[00:18:33] Maybe had a big exit, maybe doesn’t wanna do it anymore. And how do we transition not to retirement, but to another meaningful. Chapter in their lives. And so obviously there’s different tools and different processes for each of them, but you can also see how all three of those could inform tools, exercises for group coaching on retreat.

[00:18:53]  Dan Berger: Awesome. So I wanna move into the space of the meeting. What are some things you look for in the space that support your work?

[00:19:02] Adam Silberstein: So they like the physical venue.

[00:19:04]  Dan Berger: Mm.

[00:19:04] Adam Silberstein: Cool. People ask me what is like my favorite place to go on retreat. Say you

[00:19:08]  Dan Berger: haven’t been to a Selma Boise yet, so that can be your favorite once you’ve been where?

[00:19:12] My retreat facility

[00:19:13] Adam Silberstein: in Boise, right?

[00:19:14]  Dan Berger: Yeah.

[00:19:15] Adam Silberstein: But I can say the mountains, you know, outside. I haven’t been there yet, but I’m not sure if there’s some mountains around or some woods around.

[00:19:22]  Dan Berger: Oh yeah,

[00:19:22] Adam Silberstein: yeah.

[00:19:23]  Dan Berger: 200 miles of trails around the facility.

[00:19:26] Adam Silberstein: I find that there’s this tendency to think that we have to sit around a boardroom or sit around even in, in on sofas and just be in a circle for two days.

[00:19:35] I have actually found. On the go, whether it’s skiing, chairlift talk, whether it’s grab a partner, 45 minute hike. I want each of you to talk about this. Go. Great time for both of you. We’re gonna stop at the top of that trail. We’re gonna have a little powwow as a group, and then we’re gonna change up.

[00:19:52] Those are some of the best sessions, right? And just a little bit of light facilitation. And groups really appreciate that, right? Like, why did we fly all the way to so and so and then we’re sat in a room all day long? Right? That’s, that’s one of the biggest challenges I hear. So I think as a YPO facilitator specifically, it is my job to be creative, to say, how can I create the value at the same time, integrate and use the land around me, the magic of the land, right?

[00:20:14] So one of my favorites is Colorado doing, you know, a hike up to an alpine lake and maybe do a little session by it, jump in, do a cold plunge, and then maybe a little session afterwards. Those are the best, right? But obviously, you know, I live in South Florida. Vast majority of groups don’t have access to that all the time.

[00:20:32] But yeah, if we can integrate something that feels different than the day to day, that feels like a non execution energy, I find. One of the things I say is that my hope and forum is we have like kind of a sitting back in your chair energy versus it’s sitting on the edge of your chair. I think most people are in the sitting edge of your chair mentality most of the time.

[00:20:50] And so how do we sit back, ponder, create space, and if we can integrate nature even better.

[00:20:57]  Dan Berger: So let’s jump into the brass tacks. How do you figure out what to charge and what are the general fees for you, given your experience? I imagine they’re slightly. More, they’re higher than perhaps junior facilitators.

[00:21:10] What are some expectations around price and how do you set those from the onset?

[00:21:14] Adam Silberstein: Yeah, honestly, I mean, I have my numbers and I’ll share them. It’s a challenging thing, right? Because how do you work with a clientele where 3D, they’re flying on three different private jets, they’re flying in really for you to provide value and you’re the cheapest thing on the expense item.

[00:21:31] And I know that’s not everybody, but luckily that’s who I work with. On a typical basis. So I try to be very fair, I believe, but also understand the value that I provide, right? So I think it has to do with relationships. You know, what was my price that I give them last year, knowing there should be some sort of increase.

[00:21:50] Also, try to honor what like typical rates are out there, right? So I do have kind of like a model of like a consultant where I look at what do I want on an hourly basis, and then estimate what that would be, and then offer like a project basis. For forum, it’s much easier, right? So it’s like seven grand a day for forum if it’s local and I don’t have to fly.

[00:22:10] It’s 6,500, you know, this is 2026, so this could change and move right in a couple years from now. But I think that’s pretty fair, and I know I create that value, especially when you look at most groups. You get stipends from their chapters or you think about it on a per out of cost person. So I feel very confident about the value there.

[00:22:29] And I know other parts of the world charge different amounts from corporate. It’s obviously higher, but there’s more work, right? So there’s one-on-one individual interviews, et cetera. On a coaching basis, typically I just kind of charge 13,000 a quarter. Typically, that’s about a call a week, but inevitably people miss.

[00:22:47] I am not the kind of person that says use it or lose it. I don’t love that energy. It’s like, Hey, if you ball a quarter, it’s effectively 13 calls, and if it takes two quarters to get there, whatever, that’s fine. I travel and they travel and it’s fine. And that ends up working for my clients, breaks down to about a thousand an hour and then incorporate, you know, I think a day, day and a half usually, I, I don’t really recommend two day facilitations.

[00:23:11] It’s like almost too much. I want them to either go do some strategy work or sp get, jump in deep or go have fun. But, so, you know, that could be anywhere from 18 to 25, depending on the amount of prep work and discovery.

[00:23:24]  Dan Berger: Amazing. Uh, thank you so much for sharing that. I wanna jump into the, the power of client retention and what are some of the tools you use to retain clients on an annual basis?

[00:23:34] Obviously that’s much easier. Business development then always having new clients.

[00:23:39] Adam Silberstein: Yeah, I’ve done, it’s interesting you said, Hey, you can send this out from marketing information or you know, use and it’s just like, that’s great. Yeah. You asked me to jump on this because happy to. Why not? Let’s talk about it and love what you’re doing.

[00:23:49] But I do virtually zero outbound. Right. So, and I’m so lucky to have that. And I go back to, you know, I think about how I got into this space is, you know, initially. Not only Jim Warner, but a whole bunch of people who have been, my mentors have vouched to me very, very early. Right? So I was lucky enough to get into just a great circle early from, you know, people like John Drew to Vince Csro, who always vouched for me, right?

[00:24:12] So I’m lucky to have that credibility, like coming right in as I, you know, again, I got 26, 27. I had that credibility, which was cool. Of course, I had to follow up with it. But one thing that Jim told me early on was YPO is one of the strongest networks in the world. Believe it or not, very caring about one another.

[00:24:31] If you take care of the network of the people, and whether it’s chapter, whether it’s people calling you up and asking for favors or connections, give freely, just give freely and there will be this beautiful return. It will take care of you if you take care of it, kind of thing, right? And so my energy, even you see on this podcast.

[00:24:49] I’m, I’m an open book, right? From Tools ip, right? I don’t think I own anything. I’m just here trying to be a little bit of a vessel, right? Like, I’m happy to help if I can’t, I’m sorry, I’ll try my best, but if it’s outside of my purview, I’m gonna connect, uh, people. And I think ultimately the retention comes to do with trust.

[00:25:07] I mean, if you think about it, people don’t know me a lot of the times. Trust me for a day or two. They don’t trust anybody for a day or two, right? To block off their day for two days. I might stay in their house, right? While they’re, I’m there with them, I might meet their family and they trust me with very confidential things.

[00:25:24] And so ultimately my job is about trust. It’s about creating safety, right? And so if I can do that consistently, I think we all know in this world that it’s tough to find trustworthy relationships where when somebody says they’re gonna do something, they’re going to execute on that. So ultimately. I think I hold that to a very high regard.

[00:25:44] I have a high level of excellence and honestly I think I have almost a hundred percent like guarantee of I’m gonna deliver what I say I’m going to deliver and what you want. And if I can’t, then I’m gonna say I can’t do it. And I think as you know, in this space and why PO, you kind of have to have that mentality.

[00:26:03] You can’t say, oh, mess up one out of five times. Right.

[00:26:06]  Dan Berger: So we’re kind of coming around the bend here to wrap up, what questions should I have asked you that I haven’t asked you and what do you wanna share that we haven’t had a chance to discuss?

[00:26:15] Adam Silberstein: Well, I guess the only other thing is it feels one sided, right?

[00:26:17] Like I think it would be more so wanting to hear about your experience with Forum, why you’re doing this, even how I can help you with what it is that your endeavor is here, right? So listeners on this may already know, but ultimately. Similar question you just asked, like, how can I best serve the community?

[00:26:36] I see you as part of that, and part of what I am curious about is how I can best serve you here.

[00:26:41]  Dan Berger: Well, I appreciate that. You know, for me, I love facilitation. I have done it as a moderator. I find that often the moderators bear the burden of facilitation when there isn’t one in the room and there’s maybe one in the room, one out of 12 times or so.

[00:26:58] I find me not really getting the experience that I provide, and that’s really hard to do to have it two way. As a moderator and I, you know, I completely agree with you on your experience because your peers think very highly of you. And every time I discuss facilitation, all of them say Adam is the go-to guy.

[00:27:19] Mm-hmm. So I think you’ve built a tremendous. Track record and which is why I wanted to have you on the pod and you can honestly just being here and which I appreciate, you know, this is about you, which is why I do it, and I just really believe in the magic that happens when small teams get together in a small room.

[00:27:37] I mean, that’s where the magic happens. I always say the biggest things happen in the smallest room. So I love seeing that, that magic that takes place. So I’m grateful for your time and really appreciate you opening up the kimono and discussing some of the things that people often don’t discuss.

[00:27:55] Adam Silberstein: Well, I think kind of what you just said, what I heard you say was that one, you wanna make sure people get the experience of proper moderation or facilitation because it sounds like you try to deliver excellence as a moderator.

[00:28:10] And you wanna make sure that both moderators are putting a lot of effort into forum, are getting what they need out of it. Right. And it also sounds like you really believe in the magic of peer dynamics. Right. And I guess if that was kind of a question to come back, one of the things I talk about is that this is a technology, a peer group is a technology and it’s one of the most ancient technologies.

[00:28:32] If you read the book Sapiens, it talks about why did humans. Separate themselves from orangutans, let’s say. And the number one theory is that we can sit around the fire and tell stories. We develop language to be able to basically pass on information through stories.

[00:28:47]  Dan Berger: Actually, that’s the story behind EM’S logo, because I chose the orange color because it represents the fire that brings out exactly what you’re talking about.

[00:28:56] Adam Silberstein: Totally. So this isn’t new, right? This is an ancient technology that our brains are built around. Why we’re social creatures? One of the things that’s cool about that book is it talks about that the only animal that’s close to be able to tell stories, I think it said chimpanzee. And they can like lie and say there’s a, there’s a tiger over there and go steal a banana from you.

[00:29:14] Right? And that’s about it. That’s the extent of a story. And therefore they can create culture. They can’t create cultures and that’s why they have groups smaller than 150 at max. Right. We have the ability, whether it’s religion, whether it’s philosophy, whether it’s culture. We can build large organizations in large countries and we do it through sitting around, sharing stories, building principles, building values and culture.

[00:29:41] And so one, the culture of YPO, which is, you know, the DNA of forum, to be able to speak from experience and to ask questions and to hold confidentiality, I just believe. As a human race. Those are really strong principles that I think we could lose if we didn’t have organizations like Y Ps that remind us how important that is.

[00:29:59] Right. So one, from like a human perspective, I think it’s like really important work we’re doing, but then on an individual basis is reconnecting to sitting around the fire with people who have similar values that we can trust. I would say eight out of 10 people I meet in YPO say they do not have outside of their forum a trusted circle where they can be open and honest.

[00:30:20] Maybe more, I don’t know. Right. Well, I can be trustful really with my partner, but like she may not get everything about what it’s like to, you know, be in my world. I can’t be open and honest with my investors, with my board, and my employees. Like, where else do to go? My friends don’t get it. Right. So there’s something about that.

[00:30:37] And understanding their brains do really, really well when we’re navigating that together. That feels like just really good. Spiritual human work, if you will, and if we can help just a little bit of the world reconnect to that energy, I find that’s important work. It sounds like you’re doing the same thing.

[00:30:52] We’re aligned there.

[00:30:53]  Dan Berger: Well, that’s a beautiful way to end. I really appreciate your time and uh, for being here and sharing so much.

[00:30:58] Adam Silberstein: Yeah. Thank you for having me.